Reality check

So... first test down, 4 to go.  On the way to the test I was praying that God  would help me to pass because I knew I had not studied as much as I needed to and was unprepared.  I had procrastinated and wasted study time. 

Then I got to thinking.  How arrogant am I that I would pray to pass when I don't deserve a passing grade?  I haven't kept up my responsibility as a nursing student.  I changed my prayer, praying for help with discipline for studying on the next unit, for ways to organize and learn the material, and a desire to study and learn. 

I walked out of that test with a 68, lowest grade I've ever gotten, and just below a passing grade.  I knew I got exactly what I deserved and was already planning how I would be more studious for the next unit so I can make up the grade.

Then today I got the news that the test was curved up so now I have a 72.  I couldn't help thinking of how merciful God is!  Something so eternally insiginificant as a test grade becomes such a poignant example of the way God withholds the full extent of what we deserve.  Despite my sin, my neglect of the ways of God, and my laziness in my own spiritual growth I am promised forgiveness because of the blood of Jesus!  Salvation is mine because of God's great mercy and love!    

Thank you Jesus for what you procured for me through your death and resurrection!  I will never be able to deserve it, but I can rest assured in your love!